- Devika Das
Executive Presence : 3 Ways to Empower Yourself to be More Assertive at Work as a Woman Leader
Assertiveness especially hard when we come from a background where we have not felt empowered. Now this could be our cultural background. It could be the culture of the family or the society that we grew up in or the attitude of people who were looking after us- our primary caregivers. In this video i'm going to talk about three ways in which you can empower yourself to be more assertive at work.
Like and respect yourself.
The first person and the only person who should unconditionally like and respect you is you.
Women who have not felt empowered within attach a lot of what is happening outside to their self-worth.
I can tell you this because it has come with a lot of difficulty for myself I'm not somebody who came from a background where I felt empowered and I had to work very hard on myself.
I personally also believed that having a fantastic education having accomplishments lifestyle would make me worthy of my own respect but that doesn't work the goal posts keep changing and it does not equate to any kind of self-worth.
So here is something that I did and you can do as well I stood in front of the mirror every morning and I said I like respect and validate myself I have to tell you that the first few days were very difficult to say it. I think i broke down the first time or the second time and yet over time I realized that nobody can really respect me till I don't respect myself.
The moment you feel that you like and respect yourself unconditionally you will stop giving out power to other people all the empowerment to be assertive to stand your ground to have boundaries that you seek outside already lies within you .
You can't get what you want if you don't know what you want.
A lot of choices are made for women who don't feel empowered it could be the educational qualification that they have the industry they work for and sometimes personal decisions as to who they will marry and how they will live their lives how they bring up their children and it goes on and on.
Here is something that you can do you take a picture of yourself as a child put it in front of you when you are feeling that you are making yourself smaller than necessary. You tell yourself what you would want to do better look at this child in front of you. Would you like her to make herself smaller to confirm? Or would you empower her and from that place of empowerment respond to that world respond to the world with assertiveness?
Acting and Experimenting.
The only way to be an assertive woman is to act like an assertive woman in this case instead of first feeling like an assertive woman act like an assertive woman and let that change your perception of who you are.
Now every time I feel that there is an expectation that I'm going to fill this this is my square and I am going to remain in the square I break it open. I stand up for myself. I am not ashamed to ask for what I want and I'm not so scared to be disliked. I know a lot of people don't like me but there are many more who do like me and I am focused on those people .
I'm not trying to be everybody's cup of tea and I think you should try to be like that as well you're not everybody's cup of tea and so be it it's not going to be a linear progression but an experiment with a new identity of yourself approaching somebody for a conversation leading and setting the tone for a meeting some little little thing that you can do every day to break that pattern and that mold that you have created for yourself or was given to you one thing.
I want to share with you is that I come from a very tough background I'm a survivor of abuse. I come from a background where I was sexually physically and emotionally abused and so it has taken a lot of inner strength to come out and empower myself and do things differently and have the audaciousness to be who I am today. I'm not perfect some days I slip back but I'm proud of who I am and eventually I have started to look at the person in the mirror and like and respect and validate her.